LIAR, n. A lawyer with a roving commission.
LIBERTY, n. One of Imagination’s most precious possessions.
The rising People, hot and out of breath,
Roared around the palace: «Liberty or death!»
«If death will do,» the King said, «let me reign;
You’ll have, I’m sure, no reason to complain.»
LICKSPITTLE, n. A useful functionary not infrequently found editing a newspaper. In his character of editor, he is closely allied to the blackmailer by the tie of occasional identity; for in truth the lickspittle is only the blackmailer under another aspect, although the latter is frequently found as an independent species. Lickspittling is more detestable than blackmailing, precisely as the business of a confidence man is more detestable than that of a highway robber; and the parallel maintains itself throughout, for whereas few robbers will cheat, every sneak will plunder if he dared.
LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed. The question, «Is life worth living?» has been much discussed; particularly by those who think it is not, many of whom have written at great length in support of their view and by careful observance of the laws of health enjoyed for long terms of years the honors of successful controversy.
«Life’s not worth living, and that’s the truth,»
Carelessly caroled the golden youth.
In manhood still he maintained that view
And held it more strongly the older he grew.
When kicked by a jackass at eighty-three,
«Go fetch me a surgeon at once!» cried he.
LIGHTHOUSE, n. A tall building on the seashore in which the government maintains a lamp and the friend of a politician.