LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.


LAZINESS, n. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.


LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used in giving stability to light lovers—particularly to those who love not wisely but other men’s wives. Lead is also of great service as a counterpoise to an argument of such weight that it turns the scale of debate the wrong way. An interesting fact in the chemistry of international controversy is that at the point of contact of two patriotisms lead is precipitated in great quantities.


LEARNING, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.


LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.