GARTHER, n. An elastic band intended to keep a woman from coming out of her stockings and desolating the country.

GENEROUS, adj. Originally this word meant noble by birth and was rightly applied to a great multitude of persons. It now means noble by nature and is taking a bit of a rest.

GENEALOGY, n. An account of one’s descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own.

GENTEEL, adj. Refined, after the fashion of a gent.

Observe with care, my son, the distinction I reveal:

            A gentleman is gentle and a gent genteel.

            Heed not the definitions your «Unabridged» presents,

            For dictionary makers are generally gents.


GEOGRAPHER, n. A chap who can tell you offhand the difference between the outside of the world and the inside.

Habeam, geographer of wide reknown,

            Native of Abu-Keber’s ancient town,

            In passing thence along the river Zam

            To the adjacent village of Xelam,

            Bewildered by the multitude of roads,

            Got lost, lived long on migratory toads,

            Then from exposure miserably died,

            And grateful travelers bewailed their guide.

Henry Haukhorn